Fret-Stressing

Back????? Why did I even Go???

2007-08-06T22:44:00.000-04:00

Its hard to get back to this especially when I have been away. I have felt I lost so many freinds that I would turn to and they would make my day. I am finally out of an industry that sucked my life and made me loose touch with my 4 boys and family. I made a promise that I would take a year and soley focus on them and I will not break it. I have made enough money so I can do this and really we have found out that as long as we have everything paid for than that is all that matters. Really...sure the savings is going down but I will get that back up but I will have lost memories and time that is more important than anything else. Even more important than Blogging. I do have to thank my old freinds and Pete, Rachel and Michael. Especially my old Bloggers. I have seen you go thru good times and bad and you have helpped me go thru the same. If it wasnt for you than I wouldnt have been able to come back down to earth and focus....thanks........and I will start my Diaries when I go back on the road in 2 weeks.........get ready

Its Alright Ma......

2006-11-02T12:03:00.000-05:00

....I'm only Bleeding. God I love this song. I keep playing it and I still have to stumble quoting the verses. Dylan is my other icon. I love his songwriting, even in the 80's when people say he was losing touch. If you get a chance go on Youtube.com and watch some old stuff with him. There is a great ideo of Lennon and himself in a taxi ride. Classic....drunk......funny........michael :)

Pete's Diaries....sparked memories....

2006-10-04T11:40:00.000-04:00

....of when back in or around 1989 the Who went out and did the 25th "Kids Are Alright " tour. I was so excited to finally work the merch for the in the US. I remember wlking back where the food and beverage was and seen the boys drinking tea and eating crumpits ( I think crumpits). I remember saying what the fuck is this, but only for a second. Then I said "Ok they are a bit too old for that bullshit (drinking and drugging), but tea and crumpits? It really didnt matter, I still think it was the best tour I did.....very professional. I did work the Tommy/Quadrophenia tour with Billy Idol. Unfortunately I was doing too much drugs at the time to remember much of it. I do remember Pete playing 2 feet away from me. I think he spit down and it hit me...or was it my own druel (from nodding off) As Pete says he travels what makes him feel at home in a way. Tea and crumpits. The tea and crumpits to me now doesnt represent the replacement off the drinking and drugs, it represents the thing that makes you feel like home. Being on the road is fucking boring, believe me. The food, the hotels and the hours.
I always feel bad for the bands in a way. I would look in their eyes and see a kind of emptiness. I remember being in the elevator at the Worcester Centrum in Massachusetts with the Drummer From Metalica (before he got cocky). He looked like a nice lad in a faraway town, tired and even with his arm wrapped around his girlfreind, holding her like he was thanking God to have her near. He had a blank look to him, a lonely look or even a shy look off stage. I just said HI, great show. I wouldn't bother him for an autograuph. I wanted him to enjoy his peace with his companion. I let them out and told him to have a nice evening. He looked at me and I could tell he was greatful and he said thank you, you too. They went on their quiet way.
I think these people that perform their hearts out for us deserve that. They need the space. Believe it or not, they are human. So, no more Beatlemania, no more smash your guitar Pete smash your guitar. Enjoy your tea and crumpits enjoy your companion, enjoy your peace.........michael

My Happy Ever After......new song

2006-10-03T11:45:00.000-04:00

I am now in the middle of a song I am writing. I have called it "My Happy Ever After". The basic idea is ....the bsis of "Happy Ever After" is two people holding hands walking into the sunset smiling, or some other fantasy witha happy ending. Well this song is about my life when it was very dark and me living and lying down thinking to myself that as dark as it was/is it was my Happy Ever After and that is the way it was. To some others it maybe Hell, but as far as my life was, it is "Happy Ever After". The Chorus will go....Can't you see this is me In my....Happy Ever After....Can't you tell this is Hell But its my Happy Ever After. Please listen to the music as I added Drums, which I may delete out. I will also delete the middle where I use the chords in the intro. It makes it too long..... Its a liitle dark but at the time so was my life...please click paste and go....
http://www.yousendit.com/download/SGx%2BenMcYZc%3D

01 happy ever after.wma

I think this was 1st "Pop Opera" Im a Boy

2006-09-29T14:04:00.000-04:00

I really think this was the first "Pop Opera" take a look at Roger in his first roll of the "Head Case Boy" take a look....michael :)

I can't help feeling sad.....

2006-09-28T11:45:00.000-04:00

,,,when I look at old videos of Keith Moon. I was watching The Kids are Alright last night and while I was watching "A Quick One..." I felt sad. He was young in this video always full of a happy energy. He looked so happy playing the "sloppy" drums. I never thought of him as a terrible person that drank too much (even though he was a terribly different person when drinking). He had a terrible pill and alcohol problem since he was 18 years old. He didnt even remember recording Substitute.I have been on the road with a lot of bands (Guns and Roses, Metalica, Motley Cru, Danzig, Stones, and of course The Who) and I remember some of them were rude and terrible coked out drunks with attitudes. Im not saying they werent fun, we had a lot of fun. My good freind Mark was only 14 years old and an usher at the Boston Garden he was told to sit next to this person and make sure he doesnt get up and leave, make sure he stays where he was. That person was Keith Moon. But Keith looked so inocent in those early films. Just a young boy having the best time of his life. I mean boy because when I look at the films I am sitting here as a 41 year old father looking at a 18-25 year old boy. It seems he really looked up to Pete too. During a video I was watching "Pictures of Lily" Keith was having a hard time with backups. His pitch was ear piecing. Pete seemed to give him advice in a "Big Brother Type" comforting way. Telling him to "try it with confidence. I will try to attach the video. I wiil always remember Keith in this way and I am happy for that. As for the film that may come out about Keith, I hope they will try to do the same......

Pete throws away nice Rickenbaker....

2006-09-26T12:09:00.000-04:00

Moon passes out during WGFA

2006-09-22T12:06:00.000-04:00

Check this one out. Even when Kieth passes out they still rocked. Pete seemed to have some fun too...

No more IT Department....

2006-09-20T10:37:00.000-04:00

...to prevent me from downloading and watching stuff I really want to like Rachel and Pete and Mikey. I really missed ITA when they went off Towser. I was really going crazy. When you have been watching it from the beginning and then it all stops and all you can do is watch the comments it really sucks. But not now......... Weather you like it or not IM BACK!!!!!!!!!

I am Alive

2006-09-17T15:18:00.000-04:00

I finally am back to work. Its alot less fast passed and a lot more fun. The money will be close but at least I will have my life back. I hope all is well with everybody and I am sorry I have been out of the loop. Now I can get back to my old self. I spent 6 weeks with my boys doing the parent pick-up at the schools and stuff and it was hard stopping that but I do have bills to pay......michael

Sorry Ive been so not busy.....

2006-08-23T13:36:00.000-04:00

I havent been doing anything, well almost. We have the house on the market now to get one with more room and to be on the Gulf of Mexico. I told myself that I know I would be successfull when I had a home on the water, right Pete?? But thats not what makes you successfull is it? I mean its not what clothes we wear or what we have? I think its how our kids grow up and what they become I think. I know that Sherry and myself have been doingh a good job and I can onl hope I make the right decisions for the boys and guide them

Well you know your crazy when.....

2006-08-07T12:02:00.000-04:00

You quit a 200,000.00 a year job. I finally did it I told them to Fuck off. I was having other companies calling me to go with them and I finally jumped......Now what do I do??? Oh yeah, Im going to Disney World!!!!

I can't do it all myself!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-01T18:39:00.000-04:00

I just can't do it all myself. I can't be the one to get up and get stuff, I can't be the one to call up a bank and get a deal bought. I can't be the one to handle the paperwork. I can't be the one to syop what I'm doing so everybody else can get whatever they have to do done......While I keep slowley slipping into a fucking coma. How the fuck did I end up being the Shell fucking answer man. It seems lately everybody has me handle all their shit, and I am now about to explode. Do this do that come here dont come here come have sex I dont want sex I love you I dont love you get me this get me that stay here go there......FUCK EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry...... I don't want to talk about it

2006-07-22T12:37:00.000-04:00

Sorry I havent been the best Blogger latley. I just don't want to talk about it. Sometimes you feel like you just don't give a crap. I haven't been talking to anybody lately and I am feeling like everything (including life) is moving to fast and I cant catch up. I just decided to throw my hands up and fall flat on my back in my room and let life spin out of control................... I wish people would stop pulling at me and stop sucking the life from my ever shrinking soul.....................

Pete Townshend and String Theory.....Did he see it?

2006-07-13T12:09:00.000-04:00

Ok now we have this new Theory using Quantum Mechanics and/or Quantum Chromodynamics which tells us that the building blocks of EVERYTHING are basically "Strings"

Think of a guitar string that has been tuned by stretching the string under tension across the guitar. Depending on how the string is plucked and how much tension is in the string, different musical notes will be created by the string. These musical notes could be said to be excitation modes of that guitar string under tension. In a similar manner, in string theory, the elementary particles we observe in particle accelerators could be thought of as the "musical notes" or excitation modes of elementary strings. In string theory, as in guitar playing, the string must be stretched under tension in order to become excited. However, the strings in string theory are floating in spacetime, they aren't tied down to a guitar. Nonetheless, they have tension. The string tension in string theory is denoted by the quantity 1/(2 p a'), where a' is pronounced "alpha prime"and is equal to the square of the string length scale. If string theory is to be a theory of quantum gravity, then the average size of a string should be somewhere near the length scale of quantum gravity, called the Planck length, which is about 10-33 centimeters, or about a millionth of a billionth of a billionth of a billionth of a centimeter. Unfortunately, this means that strings are way too small to see by current or expected particle physics technology (or financing!!) and so string theorists must devise more clever methods to test the theory than just looking for little strings in particle experiments. String theories are classified according to whether or not the strings are required to be closed loops, and whether or not the particle spectrum includes fermions. In order to include fermions in string theory, there must be a special kind of symmetry called supersymmetry, which means for every boson (particle that transmits a force) there is a corresponding fermion (particle that makes up matter). So supersymmetry relates the particles that transmit forces to the particles that make up matter. Supersymmetric partners to to currently known particles have not been observed in particle experiments, but theorists believe this is because supersymmetric particles are too massive to be detected at current accelerators. Particle accelerators could be on the verge of finding evidence for high energy supersymmetry in the next decade. Evidence for supersymmetry at high energy would be compelling evidence that string theory was a good mathematical model for Nature at the smallest distance scales.
So is this what Pete Townshend dreamed about? That everybody and everything are or can be identified by musical notes? That is basically what the Theory is stating. Unfortunately it is just a theory and until a test can be developed we can only assume. Pete Nostradomus???? Are we made up of strings, each one with a unique sound?
If or when Pete makes Lifehouse a movie, maybe the Scientists will get a better understanding of what we and this universe are made of...... more about "String Theory" below

SUPERSTRINGS! String Basics
We are used to thinking of fundamental particles (like electrons) as point-like 0-dimensional objects. A generalization of this is fundamental strings which are 1-dimensional objects. They have no thickness but do have a length, typically 10-33 cm [that's a decimal point followed by 32 zeros and a 1]. This is very small compared to the length scales that we can reasonably measure, so these strings are so small that they practically look like point particles. However their stringy nature has important implications as we will see.
Strings can be open or closed. As they move through spacetime they sweep out an imaginary surface called a worldsheet.

These strings have certain vibrational modes which can be characterized by various quantum numbers such as mass, spin, etc. The basic idea is that each mode carries a set of quantum numbers that correspond to a distinct type of fundamental particle. This is the ultimate unification: all the fundamental particles we know can be described by one object, a string! [A very loose analogy can be made with say, a violin string. The vibrational modes are like the harmonics or notes of the violin string, and each type of particle corresponds to one of these notes.]

Go here for overview: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/String_theory#Overview

Shiloh- Jewish word meaning peace....not April 6, 1862

2006-07-04T10:52:00.000-04:00

I don't think I ever mentioned that I am a Civil War "nut". I was reading and also watching video tapes of Shiloh- The Civil War Battle and I always can never understand that this counrty, America was torn aprt and killing each other over very important principles, yes, but killing?
Shiloh, which was the first major battle of the Civil War, had 31,000 casualties and General Grant stated during the aftermath that you could walk across the field and never touch the ground because of all the dead bodies. After the first nigt General grant coudnt ever sleep in his tent because of all the screaming he heard fro the men in the field and tents. So he slept up on a hill under a tree. One officer came up to him and said "Well, it was a devils day today" General Grant said "Yeah, but we'll lick'em tommarro" I cut and pasted some info on it below and I will from time to time Post about my "Unfortunate" favorite subject.
Battle, April 6At 6:00 a.m. on April 6, 1862, Johnston's army was deployed for battle, straddling the Corinth Road. In fact, the army had spent the entire night bivouacking undetected in order of battle just two miles away from the Union camps. His approach and dawn assault achieved almost total strategic and tactical surprise. The Union army had virtually no patrols in place for early warning. Grant telegraphed to Halleck on the night of the 5th, "I have scarcely the faintest idea of an attack (general one) being made upon us, but will be prepared should such a thing take place." Unfortunately for Grant, his preparedness was greatly overstated. Major General William T. Sherman, Grant's senior commander in the encampment, refused to believe that the Confederates were anywhere nearby; he discounted any possibility of an attack from the south, expecting that Johnston would eventually attack from the direction of Purdy, Tennessee, to the west. Sherman should have known something was up. Early that morning Major General Benjamin Prentiss had sent forward part of the 25th Missouri Infantry on a reconnaissance, and they became engaged with Confederate outposts at 5:15 a.m. The spirited fight that ensued did help a little to get Union troops better positioned, but the command of the Union army was figuratively asleep that morning.
Faulty planning on Johnston's part reduced the effectiveness of the attack. There were insufficient forces on the Confederate right to roll up the Union from that direction as planned. The corps of William J. Hardee and Braxton Bragg began the assault with their divisions in one long line. As these units advanced, they became intermingled and difficult to control. Corps commanders attacked in line without reserves. Beauregard, serving in the rear as second in command, ordered the corps of Leonidas Polk and John C. Breckenridge forward on the left and right of the line, diluting their effectiveness. The attack turned into a simple, but massive, frontal assault, with insufficient mass to break through.
The assault was nevertheless ferocious, and in its face, some of the many inexperienced Union soldiers of Grant's new army fled for safety to the Tennessee River. Others fought well, but were forced to withdraw under strong pressure and attempted to form new defensive lines. Major General John A. McClernand's division temporarily stabilized the position. Overall, however, Johnston's forces made steady progress until noon, rolling up Union positions one by one.
General Grant himself was downriver about ten miles on a gunboat at Savannah, Tennessee, that morning. He heard the sound of artillery fire and raced to the battlefield, arriving about 8:30 a.m. He worked frantically to bring up reinforcements that were nearby: Brigadier General William Nelson's division from across the river at the Landing; Lew Wallace's division from Savannah. Buell's army was still too far away to affect the action that morning.Starting at about 9:00 a.m., about 2,500 men of the Union division commanded by Prentiss established and held a line, nicknamed the Hornet's Nest, on a sunken road. The Confederates charged the position repeatedly, suffering appalling losses, rather than bypassing it, which have been more sensible militarily. The Union forces to the left and right of the Nest were forced back and Prentiss' position became a salient in the line. Coordination along the line was poor and units withdrew based solely on their individual commanders' decisions. Regiments became disorganized and companies disintegrated. However, it was not until the attackers assembled 62 cannons to blast the line that they were able to surround the position and the Hornet's Nest fell after holding for seven hours. A large part of Prentiss' division was captured, but their sacrifice bought time for Grant to establish a final defense line near Pittsburg Landing.
On the Union right flank, resistance was stiff and Johnston's forces bogged down in a savage fight around Shiloh Church. Throughout the day, the Confederates repeatedly assaulted the Union right, which gave ground but did not break.
The Union survivors established a solid front around Pittsburg Landing, including a ring of over 50 cannons, and repulsed the last Confederate charge as dusk ended the first day of fighting. Naval guns from the river assisted the defense. The Confederates' plan had failed; they had pushed Grant to the river, but they had not forced him west into the swamps.
In another setback, Johnston was mortally wounded at about 2:30 p.m. while personally leading attacks on the Union left. He had sent his personal surgeon away to care for troops, and in the doctor's absence, he bled to death from a leg wound that didn't seem serious at first. This was an enormous loss for the Confederacy. Jefferson Davis and many in the army considered Albert Sidney Johnston to be the most effective general they had. (This was two months before Robert E. Lee emerged as the pre-eminent Confederate general.) Beauregard assumed command.
As the exhausted Confederate soldiers bedded down in the abandoned Union camps, Sherman encountered Grant under a tree, sheltering himself from a pouring rain, smoking one of his cigars, considering his losses and planning for the next day. Sherman remarked, "Well, Grant, we've had the devil's own day, haven't we?" Grant looked up. "Yes," he replied, followed by a puff. "Yes. Lick 'em tomorrow, though."
Grant had reason to be optimistic, for Don Carlos Buell's army had arrived that night, in time to turn the tide the next day.
April 7On April 7, 1862, the combined Union armies numbered 55,000 men. Beauregard had planned to continue the attack and drive Grant into the river, unaware that he was now outnumbered. Union forces started attacking at dawn; Grant and Buell launched their attacks separately and coordination occurred only down at the division level. Confederate lines stabilized around 9:00 a.m. By 10:00, the Union attack was occurring in concert along the entire line. The weight of the attack, which included the efforts of 25,000 fresh troops, was too much for the Confederates to withstand.
Realizing that he had lost the initiative, and that he was low on ammunition and food and with 15,000 of his men killed, wounded, or missing, Beauregard knew he could go no further. He withdrew beyond Shiloh Church, using Breckenridge as a covering force, and began marching back to Corinth. The exhausted Union soldiers did not pursue much past their original encampments. The battle was over.

What is so funny bout Peace Love and Understanding???

2006-07-03T11:07:00.000-04:00

This is a song that really hits what I have been thinking. I dont understand why people cant just get along and be happy. Even after I get in an aruement with someone I will always put anything we have said or done (within reason) behind me. Others will hust keep fucking bringing it up again fucking everybosy's day up.........................oh well. Here is the link> Whats so funny bout P L and U.wma

A funny thing happened.....

2006-06-29T14:14:00.000-04:00

when Mikey was about 18 months old we decided to play around on the couch while my wife was away. I would lay on the floor parrallel to the couch and he would jump off onto my stomach. I would then throw he back up laughing and making siily noises. Of course, this went on for some time and after a while he just sat up there. I called him and he didnt say anything. Just then he jumped onto my balls right on the General and Majors. Thats not the bad part. I noticed a fowl smell of something only my wife could cook for Sunday dinner. No, it was Mikey....I knew it. I told him to lay on the couch and I would somehow call a nieghbor to come and change his diaper. I opened the diaper and it was all small balls. Those are the ones that smell bad. Sure they are easy to clean up but they pack a Tyson punch of a smell. So I decided to clean it myself.Quick wipe fold it up and on with the "Quality" time. Mikey jumped I threw, Mikey jumpded I threw and again he didnt jump. I called him from the floor and he peaked over the ridge. He was laughing in a cunning way. So I started to laugh really loud to make him laugh really load. As soon as I opened my mouth really wide. He decided to throw one of those balls I talked about right into my wide open mouth. Needless to say it took me a while to figure out what was stuff in the back of my mouth. I hucked that thing way up in the air and to this day I dont know where it went. Onthe way out of my mouth my two front teeth scraped the ball and I had poop shavings stuck to them. I ran into the bathrrom and brushed my teeth (with my wifes tooth brush). To this day I tell customers when I have time to talk an I always call Mikey after and ask him if he remembers.......

Deleted old post--- Bought 60th Anniversary Strat!!!

2006-06-23T14:42:00.000-04:00

Ok I am all done being low and negative. I deleted the last post if anyone read it. I went out and bought a 60th Anniversay Strat. Lovely piece. Sounds awsome and great old school sunburst. I still think my Telecaster is nicer but thiss one seems to fit me a little better. My hand feels really comfortable playing it. The fret board finish isnt what I was looking for and I was in between this one and one with a neck like my Telecaster. I always wanted a Strat and now I guess I have one and I am sitting with it now in my office. Here is a picture of it (above). I am a worse spender than Rachel Fuller or Sherry. Sherry is going to kill me or cost me. I will post the outcome soon......michael ;)
Now as I think about what I have and how good I feel I find out that a great Blogger's Mum has past away. Neil has always brightened up my days when I feel down. For some reason when things are bad at work or home I will click on his site and after I read it and download his songs I forget my troubles. Now he has troubles and I hope that what I have written to him will brighten up his day during these dark times. Neil my prayers are with you and I hope you recover quickly from this sad time. Please dont look at drugs to ease the pain. I tried that and it wont work....

My new 52 Tele and Flying Pete..

2006-06-11T13:20:00.000-04:00

Now I have something to do other than work... I mean my life is still boring and busy at the same time. When you work so many hours and soooo many days streight with no days off for weeks I seem to lose the ability to figure out what to do when I have time off. I lose touch with family and the outside world. There is so much to do in the world and I have to figure out what is important. I wont say how much I made in May but its a lot, but I dont know what to do. Im too tired to go buy anything(except another Guitar) Which reminds me Im going out to buy one now.... I will repost what I bought...Fuck It....
Ok I just got back. I just bought a 1952 Fender Telecaster in Butterscotch. What a nice piece. Now I am happy. See how your mood changes when you spend spend spend..... :)
I know Pete used it on Psychoderelict tour (I think) here is what it looks like above...Thanks again Pete....
Now I cant complain about Sherry and her handbags and shoes........ Also here is a pic of Pete that I use as my email signature. I get so many comments from the peopel at the banks....now they are using it...

Boring............

2006-06-08T10:05:00.000-04:00

Im sooooooooo friggin bored Thank God for Rachel and Towser TV................... end

Time is Passing.....

2006-06-06T09:49:00.000-04:00

And I mean Time is Passing..... I can't believe I haven't posted since the 15th of May. I am so pissed, not for just posting but I can't remember what I did. I have been so fucking busy, between work, getting the house ready to sell and life in general. I havent had a day off in 25 or so days. My partner whom I have worked with for 3 1/2 years quit so now I handle the whole subprime department. I don't mind that I can handle that, but they think I should be able to take time off because they are in the weeds. Believe me I am making money and they tell me "Oh your going to make more in 1 month than people make in a year" Who gives a shit. Sure it will be a lot and it will be for 4 more months but last time I went thru this I ended up in the hospital. Sherry knows that and she is worried. Blogging to me is an escape to communicate with the people I like. People that have the same interests as I do, like Gary, Sully, Koos, Marrietta, Deb and so on. I like these peopel they are nice people to chat with. We have the same interests and concerns. People in the automotive sales industry are so money driven it gets sickning. Im not saying they arent nice people. They are but they forget whats most important sometimes. I do what I do best because I dont think about the money. The money comes from doing the hard work. I dont know Im just confused and tired, very tired. Tonight I am going to play my Gibson J185 and my Gretsch. That will help me......

Rachel Fuller's Ebay Store

2006-05-15T16:05:00.000-04:00

I love it!!!! And Sherry can get all the stuff she want's and still stay at home.......Hmmmm....Anyway I wanted to post this because I am sure I will be buying a lot of stuff from Rachel on Ebay. I don't want to get into bidding wars though, between loyal Blogger(ettes) I think if SuperAmanda or Ballerina Gurl or Gary or any other great fan of Rachel is bidding on something I don't want to possibly win and ruin anything for that fan. So if you want to post your Member Id on this Blog please do so I can make sure I don't go on some crazy bidding spree. Sure anybody else who cares. But to the people who have been so faithful to Rachel and to the Bloggers who have commented such kind words and thoughts. I wouldn't do that to them....It's not being a good person...that's my thinking anyway

My.....English Rose.....Sherry

2006-05-10T10:22:00.000-04:00

When I post I do mention Sherry in many ways. This is one of those times that I want to tell you how fortunate I am that she is in my life. Sherry has been there for me through the toughest times. Detox,Drugs,Phycological Problems,Financial Problems and so on, and so on, and so on. During those times she has been strong and for the most part supportive. She is the best mother out there, numero uno. She is protective,loving and a caring Mom. I don't know what I would do if she weren't in my life. Probably dead from some overdose of a substance I fell inlove with.
Now Sherry is my drug. We are now going thru some heavy times and it's a test of love. I can only hope that her love for me is as strong as mine is for her. I think it is, I hope it is. I recorded a song for her (one of many, I do one every night and give it to her the next morning). This is one that I felt tells her really how I feel.... Its a song called "English Rose".

I did this in one take due to time restraints.........01 English Rose.wma

Jonathan's Birthday and song.......

2006-05-05T16:29:00.000-04:00

Well its Cinco De Mayo and it's also Jonathan's Birthday. He turned 4 years old today and all he did this morning was smile. He couldn't stop smiling. He is so cute, so with my new camera I am posting pictures. Matthew is in there with him and he is doing much better. My thanks to everyones comments and prayers. Sherry and I are so grateful.I also recorded a Elvis Costello tune and here it is.
http://download.yousendit.com/A7F456291B24C7BC

So far So good......For us anyway...

2006-04-28T16:46:00.000-04:00

Well if anybody wants to know. I promised myself I would keep posting how Matthew is doing with the health situation. He has had many tests and so far no need for an operation. We need to monitor him daily to see if we notice changes and symptoms, and so far so good.
I do want to share something I experienced in the hospital that's been bothering me since. Across from Matthews room was a little Mexican boy, must have been 3 years old. He was in a private room alone. When I mean alone I mean alone. He had no family there. No Parents, relatives, nobody. He would just sit in the bed with his tray of food in front of him, feeding himself, watching television or coloring. He was always smiling. I will never forget his smile. I will also never forget his cries.
We were there for 8-9 days. So he must have been there longer. Sometimes nurses male/female would go in and sit with him to play or help him eat or dress. But is that enough? I don't know why he was there.
The point is the little boy was always smiling. Always happy and would wave to me/us when I/we would walk by. I told Sherry I want to call the hospital and see if he is still there and visit him. Maybe bring him more toys. I got him an Easter basket for Easter. He was so happy. I bought tears to my eyes when I walked out the door. No child should be alone like that. They need Parents/Grown-ups, especially when they need us. I feel like I should have done more. I will never, ever forget that boy.
Now I huge my boys longer, kiss them more often, ask if they are ok more, and tell them how much I love them and I will always be there for them.

When your children need you....

2006-04-24T13:12:00.000-04:00

When your children need you, you have to be there. Matthew, my 7 year old boy had stomach problems we thought were gas. We rushed him to the hospital where we waited 2 hrs before they even got him in a room. They thought he had a virus because nothing showed up in the x-rays or cat scans. On Friday the 14th they decided to remove his appendix just because the signs were there anyway. On the operating table the appendix burst.
They moved him to transition where a obnoxious nurse made him eat a cheeseburger and fries. We thought this was strange and she said it was no problem. On monday or tuesday at 2am he vomited and I noticed his stomach was huge and hard, the nurse agreed this wasn't right so he called the surgeon. We then had to shove a tube thru his nose, down his throat and into his stomach to pump it out because they thought it was blockage. Come to find out his digestive track shut down. Poor Matthew didn't eat for 4 days. He weighed 48 lbs going in and at this point he only weighed 41 lbs.
Then to make matters worse they found he has Tricuspid Regurgitation in the heart which is:

Tricuspid regurgitation is a disorder involving backward flow of blood across the tricuspid valve which separates the right ventricle (lower heart chamber) from the right atrium (upper heart chamber).
The tricuspid valve is on the right side of the heart, between the right atrium and the right ventricle. The normal tricuspid valve usually has 3 leaflets and 3 papillary muscles. 2 or 4 leaflets are normal variants, the number may change during life.
Sure our vacation was a bust and we lost a lot of money with the house rental, but who cares......
I learned the song "King Rabitt" a song Pete sang for a childrens story. Matthew said that is now his favorite song because it made him happy at the hospital.
So now we are waiting for the cardiologist to tell us what to do.... If there are any medical folks out there I would appreciate your help...

Whos Next Deluxe Edition......A must Buy

2006-04-11T17:19:00.000-04:00

I recieved my New CD "Whos Next-Delux Edition" in the mail yesterday and It's friggin awsome. I know its old but what's nice is the added songs they included.
CD number 2 is the YOUNG VIC Live they did and its GREAT!! Pete was his usual "GO Fuck Yourself, and If you Don't Like It Get The Fuck Out" Attitude...which I love. They did alot from Pete's Who Came First Album. Heres a list from Young Vic:
1: Love Aint For Keeping
2: Pure And Easy
3: Young Man Blues
4: Time Is Passing (Roger Does A Great Job)
5: Behind Blue Eyes
6: I Dont Even Know Myself
7: Too Much Of Anything
8: Getting In Tune
9: Bargain
10: Water
11: My Generation
12: (I'm A) Road Runner
13: Naked Eye
14: Won't Get Fooled Again
Great songs, Great CD Get it if you don't have it. My collection of Who/Pete Albums is almost complete. I just got "Happy Birthday" and a hard to find 45 from the High Numbers "Zoot Suit".
I just need 1 or 2 more albums and I will have every one.......Whats Next???????
Oh Yes I finally got my WHO Bag in from Fedex and I will take Pics of it and Post it....thanks Rachel.....

Im going High-Tech 8mm movie camera

2006-04-08T15:25:00.000-04:00

Ok maybe not so High-Tech but listen to this reasoning. I bought a Nice Sears 8mm projector in great working condition. You know the ones from school that had that burning smell. I also bought a 8mm camera from the 60s thats in perfect condition and a projection screen.
I love old movies and I am thinking on using the camera for when we go on vacation. What a great way to watch the vacation on a big screen in black and white with no sound. Just like the old movies we watched when we were kids. Kind of like "The Wonder Years". I also have colour film for it too. Sherry thinks Im crazy, but I spent less than 70 dollars for everything and it will be another great hobbie. I am thinking on music videos also withit and transfer to DVD.
I can buy old movies like Boris Karloff, Popey, Little Rascals, Toon Cartoons and we will have Movie night in the Garage (just like the old days).
Somebody say Im not crazy.......please? I just like old stuff and it will be a great thing to do with the boys. Above are some pics of what I am talking about.....

Anonomys...a little song

2006-04-05T13:04:00.000-04:00

Here is a song I wrote about Anonomys commenters on Blog site. I got it from the Spineless one on Rachels Blog....michael :)
http://s58.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1XSWVWRE5DI860ZHQ1DHM4PUZU
thanks

or this one http://d58.yousendit.com/C/1XSWVWRE5DI860ZHQ1DHM4PUZU/01%20Track%201.wma

and of course:
Babajan gave me Divine Bliss.
Sai Baba gave me Divine Power.
Upasni Maharaj gave me Divine Knowledge.
I am Infinite Power, Knowledge and Bliss.
I am the Ancient One, come to redeem the modern world.

Me and the Boys...Yeah Me and The Boys...

2006-04-04T13:37:00.000-04:00

I cannot wait till we go on vacation. We have decided on the 5 bedroom 5 bath home to rent for the week. It is such a great deal. If anyone is planning to to Orlando resorts please email me and I will forward info to you. Me and the boys are going to have so much fun. Universal for 3 days and the rest we will wing it. We have a game room in the house with a pool table, air-hockey, foos ball and ping-pong. The is a private pool with jacuzzi and there is a water park on the premisses. It also has a private movie theater we can reserve just for us too.
I hope to atleast spend 1 day fishing which will probably be thursday and the relax on Friday/Satureday. Maybe do some recording with the kids.
Oh yeah, Im buying a 8mm movie camera and projector. So we can shoot silent movies like the ones we had when we were kids. I think it will be so cool and look like an old movie from the 60's. We will see how it comes out and maybe I can post it.......

Oh Yes... " The only place that can hold me is the heart " Meher Baba

I am a Sucker!!!!!

2006-04-03T13:45:00.000-04:00

Why do I give all the time, this time Sherry wants a dog. She will give this suttle hint like "Oh. Im just looking online" then " Honey, look at this one isnt he cute and they dont get big at all". Then "A havanese puupy wont be hard to take care of".
I will start to say "Ok, go ahead" then she will say "I changed my mind" right when I start to want the dog, so it will be my desicion to get it. She is very tricky.
I actually like tese little vomits.
Other subjects....I am going on vacation for Easter, we are going to Universal Studios in Orlando. We are debating weather to stay in a King Suite in the park which will run about 750 per night with 2 bedrooms. living room w/pullout couch and a little kitchen. Or, rent a house 2 miles from the park. A 4 bedroom with game room tvs in every room with game systems for kids. The homes are in developement with pools, waterparks and other stuff for only 225 per night. I really like staying in the parks but the condo/homes seem nice too.
I finally got the "Happy Birthday" album wich is soooo hard to find. I love playing albums instead of cds. The bass is much better. Im looking at the records on Petes e-commerce site to see what the difference is on sound quality. Like the "Who Came First" album very good on old album. I guess its a guy thing, the record collection stuff. Going thru the albums on a Sunday morning, holding a first pressing of "Happy Jack" wondering how much its worth now......yeah its a guy thing....

The Bombing of Dresden......War Crime?

2006-03-31T13:06:00.000-05:00

I was sitting talking to a co-worker of mine and the thought of senseless bombings came up and Dresden was the topic. The use of incendiaries to me was an assault on the civilain population and nothing more. There were no factories, airfields or major military buildup. There were railroads nearby that were bombed, but were up and running 2 days later.
Out of 28,410 houses in the inner city of Dresden, 24,866 were destroyed. An area of 15 square kilometres was totally destroyed, among that: 14,000 homes, 72 schools, 22 hospitals, 18 churches, 5 theatres, 50 banks and insurance companies, 31 department stores, 31 large hotels, 62 administration buildings as well as factories such as the Ihageee camera works. In total there were 222,000 apartments in the city. 75,000 of them were totally destroyed, 11,000 severely damaged, 7,000 damaged, 81,000 slightly damaged.
The precise number of dead is difficult to ascertain and is not known. Estimates are made difficult by the fact that the city and surrounding suburbs which had a population of 642,000 in 1939 was crowded at that time with up to 200,000 refugees, and some thousands of wounded soldiers. The fate of some of the refugees is not known as they may have been killed and incinerated beyond recognition in the fire-storm, or they may have left Dresden for other places without informing the authorities. Earlier reputable estimates varied from 25,000 to more than 60,000.
All those inocent woman and children, schools and sick innocent people some actually giving birth in hospitals. I can't imagine growing up in that time being there seeing children as young as mine running, crying and dying.
These are the thoughts I get that make me look for spiritual guidance. Maybe thats why I love the teachings of Meher Baba, I don't know . Maybe I just love life too much to see it just get sensesly destroyed with a decision from someone who doesn't care.

The Prayer of Repentance...Meher Baba

2006-03-30T12:55:00.000-05:00

Of all the prayers for forgiveness this is the one I have come to love and keep in my pocket please don't hesitate to print and hold this. It will make you feel better......michael

We repent, O God most merciful; for all our sins;for every thought that was false or unjust or unclean; for every word spoken that ought not to have been spoken;for every deed done that ought not to have been done.We repent for every deed and word and thought inspired byselfishness, and for every deed and world and thought inspired by hatred. We repent especially for every lustful thought and every lustful action; for every lie; for all hypocrisy; for every promise givenbut not fulfilled, and for all slander and back-biting.Most especially also, we repent for every action that has brought ruin to others; for every word and deed that has given otherspain; and for every wish that pain should befall others.In your unbounded mercy, we ask You to forgive us, O God, for all these sins committed by us, and to forgive us for our constant failures to think and speak and act according to Your Will.

In the front hall of the Meher Pilgrim Centre this message from Meher Baba has been posted:

I may give you more, much more than you expect, or maybe nothing, and that nothing may prove to be everything. So I say, come with open hearts to receive much or nothing from the Divine Beloved. Come to receive not so much of My words but of My Silence.
— Meher Baba

Bob Carlos Clarke......Bio and Pictures

2006-03-29T11:47:00.000-05:00

I read Pete's Diaries and I thought I would post this for folks to look at and maybe find out what a great photographer he was. He shot very erotic scenes for portrait and commercial use. I researched his work and am facinated and I hope you will be too..... go to http://www.panicpictures.net and you can see more.......thanks Pete

Carlos Clarke has a reputation as being a photographer of striking versatility as well as one of the world's finest photographic printmakers. After moving to England in 1964, he worked in journalism and advertising before electing in 1970 to study design; his interest in photography bloomed during his first year of studies and by 1975 he had completed an MA in photography at the Royal College of Art.
Within a few years Carlos Clarke was established as a first-call fashion, portrait and commercial photographer - he has since done campaigns for Smirnoff and Volkswagen, among numerous others - and as an auteur image-maker with a line in mysterious, imaginative and erotic monochrome photographs.
Carlos Clarke is perhaps most celebrated for the series of books he has produced, the majority of which transport the brilliant technique of his advertising work into a world of voyeurism, drama and sensuality. After making an illustrated version of Anaïs Nin's erotic classic Delta of Venus and the well-received solo book Obsession in the early 80s, Carlos Clarke landed a worldwide hit in 1995 with The Dark Summer, a book whose unconventionally sensual imagery and flawless black and white photography made it a word-of-mouth bestseller.
In 1987, Carlos Clarke shot White Heat in the frenetic kitchens of the then up-and-coming chef Marco Pierre White - capturing, in Carlos Clarke's words, 'the passion and violence that was never seen in the effete world of . jovial cooks'. His most recent book, Insatiable, ventures into Carlos Clarke's personal obsessions and, in drawing together many of the strands of his photographic practice, emerges as a deft and unsettling mixture of female nudes, photojournalism and still-life.
Carlos Clarke's monochrome still-lifes rank as some of his most beautiful and subversive works. While reveling in encrustations of detail, his close-ups of weathered and heavily patinated serving-forks are also strangely fetishistic, particularly when considered in the context of Carlos Clarke's more overtly sexual imagery; their elongated tines come to resemble a woman's long legs. He has described sensual imagery in general as 'a delicate conspiracy between the imagination and the evidence'.

Halleluiah......A quick recording and Dish on the Dirt

2006-03-25T08:55:00.000-05:00

I did this in one take, it needs some cleanup but I just wanted to play this song.. Just click and paste...http://s52.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=11H7RR0PPPQA63DI90U74PN7OX or.... this one.....

01 Halleluiah.wma

Also here is my first recording of Dish on the Dirt. Im trying different things on this...you can hear Jonathan in back of me. I would like to hear comments about this one. The styles ect.... just click and paste....Again very first take and I will like comments good or bad to see what I should add as far as styles drums etc.......
http://s52.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=30CTSC2LE8M6K0S8U23DSM9CDW or....

01 Dish on the Dirt.wma

Ahhhh Anxiety....my old freind is back

2006-03-14T18:37:00.000-05:00

"Sometimes at night I wake up and my body's like ice The sound of the running wild stallion, the noise of the m-mice"

I'm tryin to figure it out.... why I get this way.... Waking up with ice cold chills, cold sweats etc. I havent been using drugs. Maybe when Its (life) been crazy and total chaos I get this way and my body is looking for drugs. I don't know. But when I used to get this way the only way to cure it was to use drugs. I would just nod off and feel the warmth after.

"The mosquito's sting brings a dream but the poisons derange"

I guess with all success we have to deal with other crap. Just like Rachel is dealing with and Pete has done in the past and I'm sure a lot of you bloggers have done. I will deal with the situation and handle it....thats all.
Any way it was my best month ever in my career. The biggest money month I have had ever. Sherry is happy. Now we are having the house painted. We are looking at homes on the water in the Gulf to buy now. The prices are up there but it seems we have a handle on the finances and my future here seems great. I will post picture to get your thoughts of where to go. Of course it will have to be a 4 bedrrom with a bonus studio room. Thats all I want my own space.......
Nothing else to write about nothing exciting going on. The Anxiety thing has me worried but Im not at panic mode.......... yet

My New Song " Dish on the Dirt"

2006-03-10T16:22:00.000-05:00

Here is a song I just wrote and it will be an up tempo feel

Wake me,
Break me,
get on my chest and stake me
I'm not going to take your crap no more.

Grab me,
Nab me,
break my arms and stab me.
Im not going to let you bring me down no more

chorus
Dish on the dirt
Ill take what you throw
I'm not going to let you treat me this way
Dish on the dirt
you wont make me cry
I not letting your words hurt me no more

Feel me,
Steal me,
you wont see the real me
Im not letting you see the real inside

Drink me,
sink me,
Don't let the boys think of me
As a man who let people get in his way

chorus
Dish on the dirt
I'll take what you throw
I'm not going to let you treat me this way
Dish on the dirt
you won't make me cry
I won't let your words hurt me no more

Bridge
Years ago I would let it happen
let others tell me what to do or say
As I got older I've become more wiser
and I'm tellin' ya now, Yeah I'm tellin' you now.......
GET OUT OF MY WAY

(lead)

Fight me,
Bite me,
Spit at me to spite me
You still can't get on my nerves no more

Thrill me,
Kill me,
Got in my head and drill me
Your not going to push me around no more

chorus x2
Dish on the dirt
I'll take what you throw
I'm not goig to let you treat me this way
Dish on the Dirt
You can't make me cry
I wont let you words, no I won't let your words
hurt me no more....

by Michael Zielinski
Thanks to Gary and Sully for inspiration......and of course Sherry who made it all posible...:)

So many good things...I love it!!!!

2006-03-07T15:35:00.000-05:00

There are so many things going on with everybody in Blogland that I feel I have to catch up. I know it sounds crazy but that's how I am. Rachel, with "The Attic, the Store, New Music Recording, the Camper. Pete, New CD, The Method, The Forums, The Tour, The Mini Opera, Neew Songs. Mikey, The CD, New Music, The Attic, his Blog, Writing new Songs. Gary, his Blog, New Music, IAC Website, Recording, Balarina Gurl, Websites, Podcasts etc.
Me, ummmmmmmmmm, ok lets see................wait I think of it.............Ok recording? been a while........writing that's it!!!....No,..............Oh Yeah Work, Work, Work, Work and more Work. That's all I've been doing. Sure I'm making money and it's actually more than I've ever made but I'm missing the important stuff that makes me sane and not fall off the wagon.
I posted a while ago that boredom makes me want to use. Well it also happens when I'm going crazy and things are going well. It's hard to explain but ez'addicts will tell you and maybe Pete said this too that when you are doing great you have the urge to use drugs agian. Maybe it's because I have a low self esteem about myself and I don't think I deserve what I am getting even though I do deserve it. Anyway, today I'm getting out early and I'm going to record some music. I think I will polish up my little 15 minute short story I wrote and write a short story with it. I can have my sister draw some pictures to go with the story line and I will burn a cd to go along with it.....that's the ticket.......

Yard work sucks....... Not the music either

2006-03-04T13:34:00.000-05:00

Well Sherry had a great idea!!! Let's remove all the mulch around the whole friggin house and replace it with river rock. Ok I said, call the landscaper and handle it. She calls back "The landscaper said that it would be cheaper to remove the mulch ourselves". Ok I'll do that. I broke my friggin back doing it too.
Thats not the screwed up part. Thursday she had 7 yards of river rock delivered and dumped on the driveway. I said "when is the landscaper coming to put it around the house?" She said "Its cheaper for us/YOU to do it....." What the hell!!!!!!
And I had to do it????? When? Oh yeah,,,,, On my only day off!!! 7 friggin yards of heavy friggin rock!!! On my only friggin day off!!!! Fuck This!!!! And oh by the way I had to get it done because its my son Matty's birthday on Sunday.
So today is Saturday, and I can't move any friggin part of my body. I mean nothing!!! I thought working 70 hours a week so we can afford to have companies do this shit was the whole reason for this (avoiding pain). I guess not.
Well I learned a lesson: When it's time to do yardwork---sell the house!!!

Thanks Pete.....

2006-02-20T18:24:00.000-05:00

I felt a need to publish a post just to thank Pete Townshend for adding another Chapter in my book of kind and wonderful memories. Over the years of me being a fan I have seen Pete try different things, not just for him but for us fans. Im sure its not easy having people hound you all the time to make you produce songs. They think all you have to do is sit and write and shit a tune out your ass. I hope at this time in his life he is really enjoying his work and not letting people drive him crazy (like me).
Thank you Pete for letting us in your world and seeing the other side of you, ( not the performer Pete). Thank you for you kind words on my Blog. Thank you for writing a great story. Thank you Pete for just being Pete........

Quote "If you work hard, good things will come.."

2006-02-15T10:00:00.000-05:00

Thats what my dad always told me and thats what I have been doing all my life (at least at work). Last week I was told that they want me to move up in my position here where I work which would mean an income increase of 50%.... a lot of money. They thold me that I was one of the best they have seen doing my job in years which made me feel really good.
This would mean that we wont need to move right now. We can actually wait for a year and buy a house outright and not have any mortgage which is my dream. The only drawback is that I have had very little time for my recording.
Sherry gave me a hand made coupon book for valentines day and in it there are 30 coupons for one hour of guitar recording with no interutions (amongst other coupons that I cant mention).
I seem to be ramblin only because there hasnt been anything special to Blog about. So this is whats going on....

To move or not to move.....

2006-02-07T10:15:00.000-05:00

Sherry and I were talking about moving and taking advantage of the Realty boom where our house value has trippled since we have bought it. This will mean moving further north up the Gulf where the market hasnt really gone crazy. The good news is we will be selling in a sellers market and going to buy in a buyers market. Sounds good right? Maybe, maybe not. I dont know if moving now will be the right thing to do. I have a good job and have been here for a while. We will be moving to an area that has more to offer for the kids anyway Disney, MGM and Universal, and I can get a good job up there too. Im not worried about that. Im worried that Sherry is thinking things might be better up there and they wont. I dont mean between us but in general. I think she thinks moving will make some difference. To me it really doesnt matter. I can work and make it anywhere. Especially where I have been and gone thru.
I just hope this isnt some type of finding myself move. I dont think she knows how hard it is to move agian. We got a lot of shit to get rid of and do. Putting a house on the market isnt easy and will be frustrating. As long as she knows she will have to handle it or at least most of it than go for it........

Ok get off your ass.........

2006-01-28T13:42:00.000-05:00

"Stop feeling like its the end of the world and start making a difference". That's what I said to myself late last night. I thought to myself, Im not going to live forever and the time I sit doing nothing and being negative is a waste. I want to make a differnce while Im alive and make sure I accomplish things while I have the chance. Remember I said I am deathly afraid of death. I still am, but I still want to make some type of difference. I want to be remembered in a positive way and make the lives of my children as stress free as possible.
Im not going to get it done by sitting around with a pit in my stomach worrying about what others think. I always have had a great possitive attitude, especialy at work. The problem is I would go home and be so burnt out I wouldnt talk. Now I have changed that I make a list during the day of what to go over and talk about with Sherry. Im taking the TV out of the bedroom. Im adding special lights above the bed so she/we can read or look at photos. Here is what I came up with:

We will indulge more in our shared interests:
We will take time to discover some common bonds. Like cooking together, walking,bike-riding, listening to music and dancing.

We will make each other feel desirable:
Like deep kisses instead of little pecks. Big hugs instead of rubbing shoulders.

We will be Relationship centered, not children centered:
We will put us first instead of the children all the time. When I have my days off we will do lunch alone together. More nights out together. We will have regular kid-free time.

We will create an exciting future for ourselves:
Instead of making savings a chore, we will talk about saving for goals. Like a dream home, adopting a baby girl, trip to London, Opening a Beauty Salon.

We will not let ourselves go:
We will help each other in getting healthy, in shape and relax.

We will talk about sex outside the bedroom:
We will tell each other what we like and dislike in bed. We will talk about it not just in the bedroom but outside the bedroom, like when we are cooking dinner, swimming in the pool.

We will continually say “I Love You”:
And not say it but we will show it in little ways. Like gift certificates to one another, cards and maybe surprise dinners made especially for each other.

We will take the TV out of the bedroom:
It will be banished. I think it’s an intimacy-killer. We will make the bedroom a place to relax and be intimate.

We will throw out the “Score Card”:
We will start fresh. No more keeping track on who’s done more than whom, who’s scored more brownie points or who’s done worse things than the other.

We will make new goals together:
We will make goals that will benefit the both of us Mentally, Physically and Romantically.

Well thats it. I hope anyone that reads this will try the same

Is it in my head?

2006-01-24T18:48:00.000-05:00

Im so fucking depressed and I have no idea why, well I do but ..... Is it me, I mean does everybody get like this? Maybe its because I let everybody just walk over me and say whatever they want even if it hurts me. I dont say anything back I just deal with it and blow it off. But I guess Im not blowing it off if it is starting to affect me. Sherry says it like it is, and she will say things and blame things on me even if I have no control of it and make it seem that the reason for all the bad things in our lives is because of me. Not the good things of course, all the good things we have and the comforts of life and the fact that she doesnt have to work because of me...I have nothing to do with.
She found a note from my "NEW" manager with a childish note attached saying "If you dont get these things cleared up than you cant go on vacation" this was given to me 1 day before I was to go on vacation. She says "If anybody gave me a childish note like that I would tell them to go fuck themselves" Well I cant do that can I...then where would all the money come from. I make a lot...again a lot of money, because I am very good at what I do.
But she made it sound like he was the only one that does that to me ..the walk all over thing. I get it 24 hrs a day. I go home and get the same...I am just tired and, I dont know.I guess Im just tired.......

Filth----Sex Pistols.....

2006-01-20T17:28:00.000-05:00

I woke up last nigh and put on the International Film Channel and watched a documentary no the Sex Pistols the rise and decline anyway. So I got up and recorded this at 4:30 am. Sherry was pissed when I started the vocals at 5:30 am, but here it is anyway... My rendition of Berlin Wall Just click here: 01 Berlin Wall.wma (3209 KB)

Finally went Pro-Tools.........I hope

2006-01-19T09:42:00.000-05:00

Well after watching Pete's movie and listening to Gary Stockton, I finally went with recording thru my computer using the MBOX-2 with Pro-Tools. So far Im not using it. I'm still installing the fucker. It tell me to input an authorization code......wait a minute I'm listening to Pete do "Who Are You Live..acoustic"...ok well, authorization code yeah. Well I can't find the bugger. It says go to the manual and go to this page or that page and I can't find it. So Im stuck. I will call and get it thats for sure and I hope I don't throw my computer out the window into the Gulf. But from what I have seen with Pete and from what Gary had said Im sure Ill be addicted to it.
Im not going to get rid of my BOSS1600, I may need it, and I will give it to Mikey when he gets going on guitar...

I love Science and Space....

2006-01-11T17:58:00.000-05:00

This is my favorite subject.Something I can talk about other than Music for hours. There is so much to learn and discover in the vastnes of space. The 1st picture above is resembling the fury of a raging sea, this image actually shows a bubbly ocean of glowing hydrogen gas and small amounts of other elements such as oxygen and sulfur.
Imagine the size of this? You are talking light years in size....
The 2nd Image is a detailed view of the Whirlpool galaxy's spiral arms and dust clouds, which are the birth sites of massive and luminous stars. This galaxy, also called M51 or NGC 5194, is having a close encounter with a nearby companion galaxy, NGC 5195, just off the upper edge of this image. The companion's gravitational influence is triggering star formation in the Whirlpool, as seen by the numerous clusters of bright, young stars [highlighted in red].
The 3rd Image is a menagerie of galaxies. Located within the same tiny region of space, these numerous galaxies display an assortment of unique characteristics. Some are big; some are small. A few are relatively nearby, but most are far away. Hundreds of these faint galaxies have never been seen before.
I wonder what type of music they listen to????

Being Bored Is Very, Very Dangerous...For Me

2006-01-10T10:29:00.000-05:00

Recently I've been so bored and not exquisitely bored either. I have no idea why, I'm busy at work and home but it seems like routine. Now two thing could happen. I could spend money on something foolish like a fur sink, or not so foolish and get stuff for my recording studio. I could also go and get something for the head and that's why I'm posting.
Being an Ex-Addict the fact of being bored is dangerous. I/We will sit and think and next thing you know we are putting something in our arms or mouth. I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen. Even when I sit and play guitar I can't get into it. Ever since I moved my recording equipment to another room I haven't been recording like I used to. I still record but not in the same mode. I can't get into it.
Is it Depression? I hope not, but that will creep up on you too. Maybe its because I haven't been reading TBWHM to my boys lately (only because of the content that hit too much home). I was actually thinking on writing a children's book and adding music too it. About children growing up with a dependent parent. Not addicted to drugs but something like chocolate or candy.
I would like to say to my fellow Bloggers that you have helped me a great deal and I thank you. Being involved with Rachel Fullers Blog, Pete's Blog, Mikey and Rene's and Gary's, I have kept myself very busy. But I can't rely on this site forever can I? No, I can't....
So what will it be. My head or my pocket. I think I will call Guitar center and set up something............

Picking out a new guitar...not that easy

2006-01-06T13:33:00.000-05:00

Well Sherry said I could get another guitar, as long as I sell some of my older ones. I have some nice Kents, Kays, Harmony's a Silvertone a hand made one that there is only 3 made (one of which Eric Clapton has), and a Continental form the sixties. I don't think I'll sell the Continental. It's a really nice one with charactor. I am having a hard time picking out a new one though. I want to stay away from hollow bodies and I thought I wouldnt need another acoustic, but I did play a nice Martin 2 days ago and it felt nice and sounded great. Im thinking on Fender Stratocaster (U.S.A made) or maybe and old Charvel? Burns make a nice looking guitar I don't know how it plays though. I am even thinking on building my own. I don't know.... I guess Im posting this for some help, anybody???? Any input would be great, so I can check them out or if your selling???? I'll be reading the comments and it will be appreciated....

Mikey and Christian.........

2006-01-03T13:13:00.000-05:00

Here are a few pics of Mikey and Christian. They are my 2 older boys. Mikey is 12 and Christian is 9. The pictures are of them skiing up north in New Hampshire. Mikey is a wildman on the board and Christian is a pro on 2 planks.Even though he is doing something funny for the camera. They love skiing and the snow since they were babies. The 1st one is Mikey jumping, 2nd is the two of them, 3rd is Christian being goofy.... love of my life. I will post more of all the boys sooooooon......

Jody Linscott- Percussion

2006-01-02T13:04:00.000-05:00

I don't know if you ever noticed the people behind the performers, but for me seeing Jody play is phenominal. She has been in mostley all if not all of Pete Townshends solo debuts also with plenty of other artists like Tom Jones, S.O.S, David Gilmour (Pink Floyd), Elton John, Dido, Dan Fogleberg, John Mayall and the great 70's band KOKOMO where she was working as a waitress and heard a sound check from the band and then was drafted to play congas.
Watching her work really makes an evening shine. She just does'nt play she feels and just watching her will make you get into the experience. The one time I remember really mezmorized was at Harbour lights operated by Don Law/Ticketmaster where she played with Pete. I remember standing there with my mouth opened. Now that has never happened to me since I saw TOMMY at like 6 yrs old with Tina Turner. Im pretty sure it was Harbourlights....... all I remember is the performance. If you ever get a chance to watch any of Petes shows on DVD just spend your time watching Jody. You may wab=nt to get your daughters into percussion....

The WHO TOMMY/QUADROPHENIA DVD

2006-01-01T14:15:00.000-05:00

All I can say is that it's spectacular!! The commentaries are great. Footage is great. Music is great. The special guest performances are great. Especially Phil Collins. Great job Pete and Roger...The commentaries really get into the heart of the DVD.
The TOMMY tour kicked of naturally because of money. T shirts (my favorite) merchandising. In the mid to late 80's a lot of bands just went on tour just because of that. Making miney off merchandising.
It started with Frankie goes to hollywood they were doing small venues and doing 15 dollars per head. Thats when T shirts were 15 dollars. Then Bon Jovi went out. I remember we did a tour record of 16.88 per head. Which means every body in the facility spent an average of 16.88 dollars. Which is over 1 T shirt. Those were busy years and very profitable for everybody. Unfortunately we lost the real focus....music.
But I did get a chance to see evry band under the sun. The WHO was definately the best. Being a big fan of music and the WHO. Being able to work for them and see them performing 10 feet away from you is a great feeling. There are things I wish I did but was to shy to do.
Tje DVD package consists of 3 DVDs TOMMY, QUADROPHENIA and Extr songs from the shows. It is packaged very well and the story line is perfect. Please dig in your pockets and get it now.......you will never regret it. I told Sherry that this was the best gift I ever got..

Strutter....Yes from the band KISS.......

2005-12-31T15:18:00.000-05:00

Ok it was over a year ago and I actually really like this song. This is done on my Boss800 recorder. You can probably pick up the kids in the background. I had a lot of fun on this one.. just click and paste..
http://s21.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0NNGPXYMXYHSJ21J31F5D4E31F

I need new music!!!!!!!!!

2005-12-30T18:32:00.000-05:00

I am posting this because I am having a breakdown. I need to listen to new music but can't find anything out there I like. So if anybody has any suggestions please feel free. Look at what I listen to now under my profile and you can see what I like. Lately I have been listening to Wilco because I've seen Pete likes them and The Mosquitos. Please give me some more......

How Stuff Works...

2005-12-28T13:21:00.000-05:00

I ran into this website a while ago and I actually sent it to Mikey. Its a website called How Stuff Works. You can find out anything and everything if you have nothing better to do. For example: if you want to find out how Music Royalties work, no problem. Gamma rays, no problem. This Blog site.....problem. Prison reform, Pete...no problem. My kids....problem
Anyway its a really interesting site, and please check it out. If you have others please tell me....
http://www.howstuffworks.com/index.htm

Recording Problem..and Gibson J185 problem

2005-12-26T10:38:00.000-05:00

Ok, I know Im no engineer, but I have my Lexicon compressor/effects unit and I can't figure a way to go from my mic to it. It doesn't have the same input that I need. Do I go from recorder to compressor to recorder and use the recorder as a pre-amp?
I know what you will say "Get the Ableton and you wont have these problems". I think I will go to the music store and get something but what I will get I don't know.
2nd, When I play my Gibson J185 I can't hear the high notes when I play it. Not only while I play but when I record you can't hear it. I use the compressor/equalizer that's built in to the Boss1600 but I don't think I should need to. Is there an adjustment to it?

My Song......

2005-12-22T13:55:00.000-05:00

Ok here is the first cut of a 15 minute song/story I have been toying with for a long time.
The jist of it is... About a man, a stuborn man who feels and who is losing touch with his family. He is so caught up in work and trying to get out of his head he doesnt realize what is going on. His wife, Mary tries to get thru. His boys, Nathen and Billy try, but can't.
The opening song is the man walking down the beach going thru memories of his life with his family. Hearing thier cries for attention. I need to add a few vocals but it lets your imagination travel.
The song is further up the story. Its about the man caught up in drugs and work. He feels noone understands him. I used only 1 chord for him to show his narrowmindedness.
The wife is gentle and is trying to get thru by talking to him, he doesnt listen.
The boys are trying to get tru also. Then finally, like all relationships it comes to a head where the wife and the boys leave. Leaving the man alone and scared.
Finally he wakes up and realizes it was a dream and wants to make right (for now).
I used different chord changes to show the different charactors well anyway just click and listen. I have a lot to do with the song. I tried different effects with vocals and they need work....michael :) P.S I have no idea why the file says what it is but its the song...
http://s44.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2404O2964GHJ73SK8AD9Z5UZ50

Simple Twist of Fate

2005-12-17T16:24:00.000-05:00

I dung this one out from my old Boss800. I love playing Dylan and singing it. For some reason I can sing Dylan and play at the same time. So here it is, I have 2 different vocals going bouncing to and fro... Also did 2 different leads on this. After a while its not bad to listen to. I will be on vacation next week and will be recording some originals.http://s30.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2JNTICH9XDLVC3BEG2B7RJHZG9

"GREYHOUND GIRL"

2005-12-13T13:59:00.000-05:00

This is a quick Greyhound Girl. I decided to add drums and use my new GRETSCH. I love the sound of it. I used my Gibson J185 and a little bass and thats it click and paste and dont laugh at the vocals my kids were crazy, but who cares let them have fun.....
http://s42.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2CGG44KBM8B5O1M9PB5RATEQIX

Feeling like Im losing touch?

2005-12-09T11:12:00.000-05:00

For the first time ever I feel like I'm losing touch with the boys. There have been a lot of changes at work (for the better, I hope), and I have been wrapped up in it. It has been consuming my head and I feel I need to get out of my head lately. Not by using drugs but just closing myself up and not talking or getting involved with anybody close to me. I get that way sometimes, just shutting everything out. Its not fair to them because they don't understand just like I didn't when I was young. So, today I wil stop thinking and worrying. Just have fun and make their childhood memories pleasant as possible. I will start getting them involved in my recording instaed of shutting the door and yelling if they run in. At least when we listen to the songs they can hear themselves and that will make for good memories, for all of us. I am not going to be like my biological dad. Again, I am not going to be like my biological dad.
So, next post will be my recording of "Greyhound Girl", which I use my new GRETCH, and if you hear the kids running around, oh well........

"BABA MARTINEZ"

2005-12-07T11:02:00.001-05:00

Just a little recording I did months ago. I was just listening to it. I thought it was calming to me after listening to it for a few minutes. It reminds me of a early 70's band that did a song named "POPPY" I cant remember the name. Copy and Paste http://s55.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=28YQ77IZ82RQQ2G2DWINWK425B

Imagine fear of music???

2005-12-06T12:20:00.000-05:00

Imagine living in a country where you have to listen to what little music you can get your hands on with headphones or from underneath a blanket in the dark. With fear of getting caught and sent to a jail or worse. I know some can’t imagine that, like my kids for instance. I still can’t imagine we do live in a world where it happens. Banned from listening to Bach, Mozart, Strauss, The WHO, Neil Young or Bob Dylan???
We do though. What kind of childhood did these dictators have? Were they too neglected of music and punished for listening to it. I always wondered what these tyrant’s childhoods were like. Were they as nice and fragile as my boys? What were they like at 3 years old? We probably couldn’t imagine them being dictators and murderers, could we?
As I give my 534 album collection to my son, I wonder if he will cherish every note and verse as I did? I will sit with him on a long Sunday and go thru them and elaborate why at 6 years old I fell in love with Tina Turner on “TOMMY”. Or how I listened to “YESSONGS” for one month straight, and why “HARVEST” is one of my favorites.
I can see it now “Daddy, Paul isn’t dead” or “I want to play sloppy drums like that guy”. I always am grateful to live in a country where I can sit down to listen and teach my children music. It just makes me sad to know that there is a father somewhere else that can’t because of fear of being taken away from his family forever

Gary from California....Soooooo lucky

2005-12-02T19:28:00.000-05:00

Well Gary Stockton from California is out there in England going to the Basement show. He is so lucky to be out there. Sometimes you wish you did something just to say "I was there when...". Well Gary gets to do that, Im sure something great will happen that he will be able to say it. The show will be Great!!!
I have the room all set up with surround sound so me and the boys will be rockin..
Hey Gary just yell out "HEY Z-MAN!!!!!"

The Ball is Rolling

2005-11-26T11:23:00.000-05:00

Well we got the ball rolling and got the applictions filled out for adopting overseas. We will see how it goes. I finally found a place that seems to care about the children. We may have to spend some time out in China to escort the child home but that wont be for a while. I hope we wont get our hopes up.I will just keep trying. Im sure there are a lot of other couples out there trying that are not as lucky having children like we do. I will keep it posted.The name of the agency is American World Adoption Association and the cost is between 21,000. and 23,000 dollars which isnt bad considering the cost of raising a child to the age of 3 or 4 years old. The whole process should take 13 months.

Adoption...Not so easy..

2005-11-25T13:30:00.000-05:00

Sherry and I were sitting on the couch reading the news and watching a program on "The Lost Children of China". Now these adoring little children are homeless and living on the streets.
There was one particular story we saw, which was about a 3 year old girl living on the street and drinking water out of a puddle, which was right in front of a really expensive restaurant. The patrons of the restaurant did absolulty nothing for this child, they just ignored her and went on ordering the very expensive (mystery meat) meal.
I left the room in tears thinking how can someone just sit there and not do something. So I got on the web and looked for adoption agencies or Church organizations to help get one of these children out of there. My research left me in a worse state than I started out at.
40,000.00 to 50,000.00 US dollars to get one of these children out of the streets. Why would this government, church be so greedy and not just care about the safety and wellbeing of the child. They wanted me to refinance my home and then spend 2 weeks out there, go thru more red tape. Listen heres the money for airfare, I will fly out. Save the child and fly back. How fucking hard is that. IM sure the child doesn't care about red tape or money. Just food, water and clean living.
Well IM not going to give up. Sherry and I will go to whomever and save one of these children. We always wanted a girl and never had one. We will save one of these kids. If we can't have a girl then we will save a little boy. Then we will try again to adopt a girl.
These kids deserve a chance like any other child. And we are going to give them that chance.
If anybody knows how we can get around the red tape please send it.

Getting the "Itch"

2005-11-23T13:47:00.000-05:00

No, not the itch to use drugs or 7 year itch. Im getting the itch to go back on the road. Concert merchandising, the one and only job I can say I loved every minute of. Yes sometimes it got boring when you worked 9 Moody Blues shows streight, but the experiences and people that Ive met are memorable. I'm thinking on adding another site about those experiences, but there would be repercusions and I will have to change the bands names to protect the innocent. I.E Aerosmih, Guns and Roses, Poison, Motley Crue,Def Lepard and so on and so on....
The good thing about if I do it now is I have all that partying stuff out of my system. I have a greater reposability now than I had in the past and I am more responsible. I also had the oppertunity to work for the best company in this feild. We were (are) the best in the world and we had fun.
Ok, now the downside. Being awasy from the kids. It's a great job buuuuttttt.. I will b apart from the for a long time. Unless I hook up with a band that only does big gigs but not a lot of dates. Than maybe I can go home for a couple days a week---------- maybe.
Just thinking, don't get me wrong I do love this job--excellent pay, great managment team. If it wasnt for he fact that I do have the boys and Sherry to worry about I would be right out there seliing that swag...

Kindness deserves generosity

2005-11-22T10:44:00.000-05:00

I suggested to Rachel that we should at least donate some money for the BIG SHOW and at least she can didn't it to a charity in her name. She was gracious enough to email me the name in which we should make the money orders out to.
The name of her company is: Candycat LTD.
The address should be the same where we send the stuff to her at:
4 Friars Lane, Richmond, Surrey, TW91NL, U.K.

any more questions please comment.

Also I was thinking on doing a Bloggers Cruise to Alaska. Im sure if we get enough of us we can charter a really nice boat. Sure the airfare will be separate, but the chance to go to glacier Bay is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Maybe Rachel, Pete, Mikey,Rene, Simon or Stu will go.
Anyway just a thought...

I get what I want or (Beg for)

2005-11-21T10:57:00.000-05:00

Ok I put my foot down and said:
I've had it I need a studio to record in...
So...
What do you mean so..
So go ahead...
I will...
go...
Im going to....
goooooo...
Can I?....
yes..
It wont be big....
ok...
and I wont spend alot...
I know....
So whats goin on????
nothin...
ok, ummm do you want to go shopping....
I was going to anyway...
need any money....
yeah...
how much?
this much....
oh, ok Ill build the studio later...
fine....

Its all about the boys....

2005-11-12T12:17:00.000-05:00

I was on blogville this morning and reading Gary's blog and I saw a comment from Joseph. So I went to his site and read about he and his dad. I felt he missed him so much and I envy him.
I told him my real dad left us when I was 3 my sister Kathy 4 and Gina 1 1/2. He would pick us up on Sundays and take us to my grandmothers home where we palyed with our cousins and he would sleep on the couch, nursing a hangover.
My mother would tell me stories of when I would be sitting on the front porch steps with my baseball glove waiting for him to come. Of course he wouldnt and I would cry and hide in my bedroom. The glove would end up in the bushes and not be taken back out. I do remember coming across the glove in the fall. It was wet, moldy and had a musty leathery stench to it that reminded me of a cold fall day. Wet leaves stuck inside, bugs sticking out of the holes and the leather strings dangling from the wrist.
I changed my name to my step-dads when I was 25. I figured he was a better father since he took the responability when I was 10 years old. He was always to busy. He was the owner of some of the most respectfull auto dealerships in the area. So he had little time for me and my needs. My mom did all the work with the cubscouts and stuff. I remember going to the cubscout Holloween costume competition. All the other boys fathers did thier costumes and they were high tech. My mother, being the great seamstress that she was she made me as a teabag. She took a white sheet and with a wire coathanger and some old Maple leaves from the yard turned me into a teabag.
I won 2nd place and I was happy that my mother was the one who helped me. I could sense though that the other boys would be looking at me in a way like that had me beat or they were better than me because they had dads there and I didnt. I know it sounds evil but its true, even the dads thought the same. In the early 70s the dads thought a woman was a joke in the raising of a boy the way a man would. But we showed them.
I have a logitech camera on my computer and the kids have one also. I will call them up and I will tell the bedtime stories or play guitar for them and we can see each other. I will also start help them with the homework if they need it. I love the camera, but with all good things they have glitches. I will sob to myself after we say goodnight and kiss the camera. Its great to have this but not to hold them or kiss them goodnight tears away at my soul. Im doing everything in my power not to be like my dad (s). And I wont let it happen. Tonight I will do the same. This time Im going to show Mikey how to play guitar. I bought him a nice acoustic and this camera thing will work out great......

When Depressed---SPEND-SPEND-SPEND

2005-11-11T10:34:00.000-05:00

Well its been a long time, for me, posting anyway. Ive been a little depressed latley and I cant put my finger on it. Hard to get up in the morning and no ambition, except for playing guitar. Which brings me to my reason for bloggon. I went out again and bought another guitar. This time I bought a nice GRETSCH hollow body. Real nice piece. I wanted to get that ROCKABILITY feel and I did. This guitar puts out that type of sound thru the MARSHAL amp. No distortion a little reverb and your back 50 years. Beautiful, almost as nice as the J185 I just got. Needless to say Sherry is a little upset. But between the handbags and other stuff sheis happy.
I wonder why it makes me feel better when I spend? Do I deserve to spend money on myself? I only spend when Im really happy or really depressed not in the middle. Im sure a female blogger will have the answer, I hope.....

My new Gibson J-185 jumbo

2005-10-26T18:12:00.000-04:00

Ok back to normal whatever that is. I just bought a Gibson J-185 jumbo acoustic. Very nice I can't believe the sound it puts out. Im speachless and in love. I protected that thing with my life during the Hurricane. It was in the closet with us during the BIG SCARE. I figured if we were trapped I could at least play a few tunes or use it as a floatation device for the family....

We are ok

2005-10-26T09:36:00.000-04:00

Just a post for now to say to everybody thanks for your concerns. Hurricanes are not rare down here, but when tornados are thrown in the mix it gets very scary. I will post some pictures when I get my family settled down. Im concerned for Gina she got hit bad. Some folks in Cape Coral got hurt a lot worse. My home will be bigger and better thanks to insurance. Thanks everybody especially you Rachel michael :)

Gina's Hand bags

2005-10-11T10:13:00.000-04:00

Here are pictures of Gina's handbags. These are all handmade and all original. She is currently working on an Elvis and Bob Dylan handbag, also a Purple Skull handbag.

Having fun!!!

2005-10-10T19:41:00.000-04:00

After listening to Gary's great song he wrote. I thought I would pull out an old one that I did a long time ago when I got my first recorder Boss BR-800. This is a nice driving around tune. Maybe good for Rachels Attic show???? Please copy and paste:
http://s25.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=19LD8N5MCZ28V1RQ8FAI1IX7LJ

New song "Anonymous"

2005-10-10T13:44:00.000-04:00

Here is the song I wrote about an anonymous person who has personal problems. Which is why he is so vengfull. please click and go. I admit I rushed it and needs work. My piano playing still is shakey at best, but what do you want from me I just started at 40!!!
http://s25.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0CDQ0MQLV1DD3LJNHAETK5944

Escaping

2005-10-04T17:04:00.000-04:00

What was I running from?
Why was I poisoning my soul?
What was I going to gain?
What kind of father was I?
All these questions I ask myself when I wake up in cold sweats at night. I have bad dreams, but they aren't dreams anymore they are memories. Memories of heroin, cocaine and alcohol. My 3 vices. I would turn to these, mostly heroin when I felt a certain way. I can't explain what I felt to make me start using. My problems never went away either. They just got worse. I still would play with my boys, even on heroin.. Because I could, but half the time I would just nod off for what seemed hours, but was seconds. I would come to with Mikey pinching my cheek. "Daddy, Daddy..I said look at me". I would give him a little smile and wink with my half open eyelid.
I ripped off my kids. I ripped of their memories. They should off had different memories of that time playing. I can only hope they don't remember...
Never shot up. I found that disgusting.. Imagine that (disgusting...Me). I would sit down with my acoustic sometimes and took a couple sniffs. Thinking it would help my creative juices. Bullshit. The only creative juices were the ones dripping on the strings from my already red nostrils. I joke about it to myself now sometimes, just so I don't cry. I don't mind what I did to myself, but what I did to my children. They deserve more than these memories.
Economically I took care of the family. Making 180,000.00 per year with no college I thought was doing good. Anytime they needed something I got it done. I gave them the best of everything...Except myself.
I will sit down with the boys and explain myself to them, so I can guide them in the right direction of life. I worry about them more and more now. Maybe because Im getting older. Or maybe because I hope they don't grow up to be like I was.
I think I used the drugs to escape. Escape myself. I kept looking in the mirror and I kept seeing my father(the biological one). The one who left us when I was 3, Gina 2, and Kathy 4. I've been trying so hard not to become him. But everytime I looked in the mirror, there he was.
Sounds like a good song, not this one.. I remember hearing the song "Father of Mine". Heard it once then every time after that I would hit the power button to turn it off. I think I've been trying to escape my whole life. Escape what????
I need to make sure I am ok so I can do my "JOB" and take care of my loved ones who count on me. That's what I'm doing. My life now couldn't be better. Well it could be a little better. I have a great family, who returns the love and affection I give them. I have great friends on the Blogsites that make me feel good when we write back and forth. My health is good.
So what am I trying to escape from?..... The itch...The little voice...The craving... The wonder if..
It's a long road and everyday is a test of strength. That's why I keep playing, recording and listening to music. Thanks Pete, for making words and music I can escape to now. I'm not saying Pete Townshend saves my life. His words and music put me in a zone where I feel happy and can focus on what is really important...ME.

Re-Rerecording...and.... Rererecording

2005-10-04T15:43:00.000-04:00

Frustration builds as I still am toiling with the Boss1600. I went to Music Mikeys Blog site where he gave me a couple of pointers, thanks Mikey. But it really doesnt matter how much you know about recording. You have to be in the "ether" . I know nothing about piano, but I figured out the begining of "Gettin in Tune" which goes thru the whole song basically. I tried -cut, tried-cut, tried-cut. I couldn't get it perfect. Then it hit me "I was trying".
So, I hit record, took a deep breath, and played....just played. With the words in my head I felt my fingers not hit but caress the keys in a melodic way. It flowed. Please sit back a imagine it. Bling ding, bling ding, bling ding, bling ding. bling dang bling dang bling dang bling ding dang...etc.
I looked down and I was done...My hands weren't stiff. I was so relaxed and it was done. I played it back, again, again...how nice it felt. I talk about music all the time, since I was 8 yrs old my friends and family had commented on my views. I remember telling my mother that there was no such thing as noise and I would bet her I would figure out the notes the sounds would make by humming and could humm a song out. She said I was making her scared. So I hummed in my head.
Ok that part was done, now how the fuck do I add the drums this far in....Back to the drawing board. I'm going to do these with out drums. Recording is fun when you don't have to work. Just get in the "ether". I see why Pete was so frustrated on Who's next. This shit you have to do isnt fun. The non creative part. I know its being creative in a way but...I dont know. I think I will have someone come out and set it all up for me. Mikey is the most luckiest guy in the world. Pete, the great freind he is, went over and spent a week setting his up. I knew I liked Pete for a reason.

Fathers Day 1997

2005-10-02T14:54:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you get discouraged
Because I am so small
And always leave my fingerprints
On furniture and walls.

But every day I'm growing
I'll be all grown up someday
And all those tiny fingerprints
Will surely fade away.

So here's a final hand print
Just so you can recall
Exactly how my fingers lookes,
When I was very small

Cherrish your time with your children.

Friday

2005-10-02T13:33:00.000-04:00

Ring....
hello
hello :)
what are you doing..
working
yeah
yeah... did you forget to tell me something
uhmmmm...maybe
MAYBE???.. I got a letter from suncoast saying my car is paid off..
ohhh yeah I was going to tell you that..
when???
today???
what did you get me..
the 2004 Murano your driving..
I don't like this car..
but we will be in a much better position with this one..
I don't care!!!!
don't worry about it, just drive it for a couple of months and when something you really like comes in we will trade it
what the fuck!!!
what?
what do you mean WHAT!!!
why are you freaking out, its a nice car..
I don't want it..
fine..
FINE
fine....
FINE..
fine.......
FIIIIIIIIIINE........
click....beep,beep, beep, beep, beep
shit........................
Ring, ring, ring,
Good afternoon.....
Yes, I would like to have flowers delivered........................

Drowned Again..

2005-10-01T11:30:00.000-04:00

Here is a link for DROWNED believe me it needs work. My kids were running around me while I was singing and its my first go at keyboards. Never played piano so this is all by ear. Im working on this song now and "LETS SEE ACTION" please paste on this http://s35.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0VELZVKGTOQRH0T5IC7GDDLSBF

Music Defined....?

2005-09-30T13:08:00.000-04:00

After doing absolutly nothing and feeling down for the last few days. I decided to pop on Rene's Blog site mikeysrene.blogspot.com She seems to be a very happy person. Mikey should be happy to have her in his life. The same with Pete having Rachel. And yes me having Sherry.
I'm trying to find out what is the definition of music. Not from the books but from people. What do they think. I believe like some scholars, that there is no such thing as noise. There are only sounds. And music is taking these sounds and putting them in some type of organized manner. Maybe not even organized. Just putting them together
I love all music, it's just the words I may not like or agree with. Music takes me to places I would rather be than where I am at. Music means different thing to different people, but this is the one thing (music) that connects everybody. Could there be a song someday or music someday that everybody in the world will love and be connected to? This would be the one thing that brings the world together..

Deathly Afraid of Death

2005-09-30T10:08:00.000-04:00

The only television I watch is News, Discovery and any History/Science channels. I was watching the Science channel on Tuesday night. It was about the Cosmos and how the earth will someday be engulfed by the Sun. That's a long ways away, the sooner destruction of life will come when the moon, which is currently moving away from the earth, gets so far away the earths weather will be intolerable for life to live. Fascinating isn't it?
But as I watch I can't stop thinking that I, my wife and my most beautiful children whom I cherish so much WILL DIE.... This is something I can't accept. What will happen. Do I just stop. Not exist. Where's Mozart, George Washington? We just stop. What goes on after. I am one that doesn't believe in after life, but hopes for one. I don't want to just not exist. I want to go somewhere to see my children. At some point billions of years from now the whole universe will either expand so far that all matter justs disinigrates, or collapses back to the size of the Sun.
I can't comprehend the fact that I/We will just stop, no more. No more thinking, talking, laughing. It's not like we are going for a long nap, we won't dream. Our minds won't work. We will just STOP. And I am Deathly afraid of THAT.

Bad Memories

2005-09-28T19:08:00.000-04:00

looking up I see
thru the fog
myself looking down
and what I see
I do not like
I see a man with
no control of his life
his body
his soul
poisons his soul
it penetrates his soul
soul turns black
his soul shakes,shakes and shakes
One more?
One more?
One...
It hits
makes its mark
WARMTH
relax....reeeeelaaaaax..................
Breathe........
Rest............
"It's ok, you can come back down now" he says
"NO, I don't want you anymore"
"but I need you"
"for what, THIS?"
"yes"
"Sorry can't help"

michael

Blog fashion

2005-09-28T10:03:00.000-04:00

I was pulling up other Blogs from folks that
post on Pete's, Rachel's, Mikey's and yes now Rene's Blogsites.
It made me feel less artistic in a way because my site is not as
stylish or as nice to look at. It then it hit me, It's not how it looks or how colorful it is, is it?
It's the fact it's mine and it comes from my heart(in a way).
Why should I care, why should I care.....
My site when I started was to be comments revolving around my recording and
learning Pete's songs.
But now I feel I want to do more, more expression. Give a day to day update on how
fucked up my life really is. I still will be recording. But now I don't care
how stylish my Blog is. It can be just black and white, naked. But it will be honest...

Sunday...

2005-09-27T13:14:00.000-04:00

michael..
michael...
michael...
Helloooooo!!!!!!
What the fuck are you doing.....
nothin (love reign on me)
Is that all your going to do today
what? (to cool cool rain)
Listen to THAT music
maybe...(I lay and I think)
What, do you think that's the answer to all your problems... MEUUUUSIK!!!
I didn't say that... (only love can make..)
So what's the problem?
no problem(the way the beach)
You think music is going to solve anything
I said I didn't say THAT!!( by the sea...)
well there's more to life than music..
I know that(only love can..)
than what's your problem
I SAID I don't have one(love reign on me..)
I'm sick of you just sitting there listening to music...
better than listening to you..(love reign on me...)
What was that..
nothing(I've had enough of living)
You said something..
forget IT!!(..enough of dying)
Well I don't know what you want or what you expect to get from just listening and
recording that shit...
LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am alone

2005-09-26T18:31:00.000-04:00

I am alone...

WHO/TV-Rachel,Mikey and Pete

2005-09-21T19:28:00.000-04:00

What a wonderful day...at noon est Rachel Fuller broadcasted a test show on WHO/TV with a good friend and very talented musician Mike. It was wonderful. She talked about her life,music,Blog-site and performed some songs with Mike. Mike also performed some songs he wrote, which were amazing. He is very talented and Rachel and Pete talked him into a Blog site which you can go to http://help.musicmikey.blogspot.com/ . Hopefully he will post some music to download so you can see for yourself.
Pete was on and he was great. It was wonderful to hear him and see him in an unformal set. It was like watching 3 people just sitting in the living room chatting. He played a song also. I could tell how much he loves music just by watching him listen. It was gratifying for me to have him respond live to my questions and comments. It gave me a sense of connection that I was unable to do when I did the merchandising for the WHO. I guess they are going to try it out for a month. I will definatly watch. Now I have Gina my sister getting into it.
The picture I posted I dug up I thought was the greatest fucking picture of Pete I have. How the hell did he do this? Hopefully when he is Blog surfing he will comment on my DROWNED song . Which by the way I am still working on.... Anyway gotta go Iwill get back sooon. Please go and check out these others. You wont be disappointed.

Gettin in tune...With the kids

2005-09-07T19:15:00.000-04:00

While I was talking to Mikey and Christian, my two older boys in Massachusetts. I thought this would be a great way to show my love for them. Posting pictures and sharing stories with whomever reads this. Well at least they will and I hope it will give them a sense of how important they are to me in my life. I miss them so, and I think that's why I spend so much time recording/playing music. Because doing that makes me relaxed and in a different zone. I think I will try to write a song or a short set of songs about them/for them.
that's it I will have my first musical project, a mini rock opera about the boys. Of course I will include Matthew and Jonathan. They are just as special and important in my life.
So you folks/folk have something to look forward to from me. Now don't email me all at once asking questions about the project. That's too much pressure. More good news thanks to Rachel Fuller, whom I am having a great time reading and commenting on her Blog site. She's great you have to go there rachelfuller.blogspot.com Anyway she's done so well with her site Im sure Pete Townshend got jealous and just started his own. This is the happiest day of days. I cant believe I actually sent him a message and he is going to read it. Thats contact my life is almost complete. So go to boywhoheardmusic.blogspot.com and have a great time.
Oh yes Im doing another track (actually cleaning up the first take) of "DROWNED". I will post it when its done. It still has a way to go. It would be great if Pete hears it and comments, hopefully he doesn't tear it up. Good luck and keep on bloggin.... beep....beep

A little Dylan

2005-09-04T14:19:00.001-04:00

Ok I tried aa little Dylan. I particularly like this one. The synth is actual guitar thru the Boss1600 and used the drum track also. Still learning....please copy and paste to listen http://s33.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=02U4RX2IIM87Q2GP4I6J74KDAJ

Drowned first cut

2005-09-03T10:28:00.000-04:00

Well here it is my first cut of Drowned. It took 2 hrs so itneeds a lot of work and my kids were running around. First time using piano also. I will keep updating as I work on it. Ive got a long way to go... please cut and paste

Regular link (for all web browsers):
http://s19.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2DWW0W013TVE70NTGO1RPMRX5D

Hurricane Katrina

2005-08-29T12:44:00.000-04:00

A little serios note let us prey for all the children especially going thru this horrific time with the hurricane. Katrine came thru here ( Cape Coral) not as strong as expected but it really got bigger and stronger and is ripping apart Biloxi, New Orleans so let us prey, or sing a song to our children tonight while we hold them tight and be thankfull they/we are ok and safe.

Learning Piano

2005-08-27T14:32:00.000-04:00

This paino stuff really isnt that bad once you get some of the chords down you can basically make some sort of arrangement. I figured out "Cut My Hair" from Qudrophenia for the most part. Sounds ok, I pulled up some old archived Pete Townshend Postings, MAN IS HE UNBELIEVABLE!!!. Just his recording gear and computer shit is unbelievable I just want to go there for 1 week to see what he does. Im sure I will learn so much. Anyway Im trying a lot of diferent ballads with the different sounds with this keyboard, having fun tell ya more whoever cares

Hurrican Katrina/Keyboard tabs

2005-08-26T18:46:00.000-04:00

Well it looks like huricane Katrina is away but comin back in a couple of days, more up north. Those poor folks up in the panhandle, my prayers are with you. I found a great tab site so when I pull up my Quadrophenia songs it gives me the tabs to play on the Keyboard, because I cant read Keyboard music. It seems to be easy even at my age. Im going home soonto start recording Drowned and we will see how that goes. It will be semi-acoustic with keyboards and stuff. It may not be great but it will be mine... well gd night to whomever cares

Michael

Blog-Surfing

2005-08-26T12:58:00.000-04:00

Its official
Ive done no work at all since Ive found this blog stuff. My typing and format are not as nice as others but its mine. I can now express myself and hope someone is reading.. if not so what. My recording is coming out nicely.I bought a keybord/synth so now Im up all night doing that. Recording Drowned by the WHO now. I will try to add an attachment so you(if anybody is there) to listen..Little hurricane comin thru now power goin out now and then see ya....

30 yrs later

2005-08-23T12:50:00.000-04:00

Hello Folks ( Bolggers and Bloggetts),
My first time doing this type of stuff, so far its easy... Well 30 yrs.. yes... Ive been a Who/Townshend fan since I was 6 yrs old. Long story different Blog. Ive been having major problems figuring Petes chords (Capos changes etc.) I finally got a Boss 1600 16 track digital recorder. So I figured nows the time to finally do some of my own Scoop stuff. Thanks God Who.net has the whole Tommy and Quadrophenia albums all Tabbed up. I know its not a big deal o you folks, but Im so pissed at myself that I wasnt looking for this a lot earlier. Ive grown to respect Mr. Townshend more and more as I learned these complex chord changes, and it only reassures me that Im glad I did see the movie TOMMY when I was 6 yrs old and hence became one of Pete's flock.